So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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