Having a random hookup so left but love u
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
