sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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