It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
