Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
