if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
