I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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