paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You've changed since you got that strap on
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize