Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
