u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize