we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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