I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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