Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
