Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
