1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
