No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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