Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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