i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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