This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
