My room smells like vodka and shame
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
