Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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