I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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