I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
