So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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