My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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