omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
