God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
