why didn't you poke me back
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
