i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
