just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
