I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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