Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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