people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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