fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
