The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
