listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
