So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
