i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
