But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
