I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
