My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
