I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Two words: nipple clamps
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