CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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