I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize