they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
