If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
