Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
