I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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