: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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