The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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