i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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