super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You pole danced in your parka.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize