You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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