In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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