the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
