I'm laying in your front yard are you home
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize