is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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