I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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