Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
