idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
