first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
