Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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