i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.