it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dating After Heartbreak
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?