I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.