Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
