At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This can only be settled by a dance off.