They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
